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What is a good way of making friends if you are shy?

By Andrew Burgon /
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June 26, 2014



Being overly shy and quiet can really make things awkward if you intend on making friends. How can people like this overcome?

My answer is …

A good way is to attend a social group that focuses on a certain activity you like rather than the kind where people focus on socializing. This can help reduce the pressure and anxiety you feel as opposed to having to socialize and talk a lot with others.

A good example is a board games group. There is socializing before and after the game but during the game conversation tends to be about the game itself taking that uncomfortable spotlight away from yourself. The exception is with certain kinds of short, easy games which allow for light conversation. You may be so absorbed in the game and the good time you’re having with others that you forget about your shyness!

Shy people are like those who get their feet a little wet at the beach while contemplating whether or not to dive in. What if it was a glorious day though. The sun is shining, it’s nice and warm and the water is inviting? Makes me want to dive in just thinking about it.

Sweet spots and treasure troves can also make your job of making friends easier. I encourage people to find out about new activities and try them out. In so doing, they may find a sweet spot in life which is an activity that you love doing. Mine was board gaming which I happened to stumble across. A treasure trove can be found by visiting new social groups. Eventually you will find one with a group of people you get along with very well. Both sweet spots and treasure troves can help allay the anxiety and fear you may feel and cause you to open up and really look forward to the next get-together.

What is a good way of making friends if you are shy?   Your answer?
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