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Friendship: Rose-Colored Glasses

By Andrew Burgon /
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October 25, 2013


goodluz / 123RF Stock Photo

Going through a period of intensive socializing and attending lots of social activities can help us realize things about ourselves and other people.

Lots of intensive social experience during the first Project Fellowship was essential for me. I didn’t fully understand myself and what my social nature and needs were. Growing up with a stammer had no doubt partly stunted my growth socially. Add to this the fact that I was a late bloomer, a soft-headed romantic and clueless and thick as can be gives you an idea of what I was up against. If you are coming from a similar background as mine you may find that a good dose of social experience may be just as good for you as well.

Rose-colored Glasses

After a year I was able to take off the rose-colored glasses I had been wearing since I was a child and saw that the world was running for the most part on friendship lite software. In other words, I had become aware of my perspective concerning the social world. One that was causing me pain. I had also become aware of my social nature and needs and it helped me come to terms with the way things were.

I remember thinking, “Wow, the world really is an indifferent place.” I knew that before, of course, but it became absolutely clear in a vibrant way. I realized though that while the world may be this way I am not. I need friends who exhibit warmth, enthusiasm and at least a little bit of initiative towards me. People who I share a mutual rapport and affinity with. Friends that desire my company and have room in their life for me. People who get it and don’t disappear the moment I cease taking the lion’s share of the initiative. In short, this new realization taught me that I need to seek out people who care enough to stay in contact of their own volition.

I am a romantic who has been tempered by reality. I am a romantic with true grit (as corny as that sounds it hits the mark). By persisting in my pursuit of better friendships I have naturally developed calluses, have become hardened and am a lot better at gauging friendships and letting go of indifferent people.
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