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Good Friends

By Andrew Burgon /
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October 17, 2013

Denys Kuvaiev / 123RF Stock Photo

* You have a choice of reading the article or watching the video at the bottom of the page.

The Times We Spend With Good Friends Are Some of the Most Wonderful and Memorable Moments of Our Lives

Good friends really do stand out from the crowd. They want to have a relationship with you. They desire and seek your company. These people do care about you. They are a real presence in your life. They are noted for their enthusiasm, initiative and the genuine interest they show in you.

You know a good friend by the way they talk to you. Throwing you invites and encouraging you to meet up with them when you have time. When you do see them after sometime apart their smile often tells you that they are really glad to see you and that you hold a special place in their heart. At some point they may express their appreciation of your friendship and make you feel they truly value it.

They are often willing to help you in general things and in tough times. The presence of a good friend brings joy and happiness. Some of the most cherished and memorable times of your life are spent with them. Without a doubt friendship of this caliber enriches your life substantially. Good friendships nourish your mental and emotional health.

Do you desire to live on a higher strata of satisfying and rewarding friendships? Do you have difficulty drawing into your life close friends, good friends? This is what the core of Project Fellowship is all about.

For those of you who are in earnest pursuit of good friends but are finding the friendship path a difficult, lonely and frustrating one here are five of the distinctions I learned during Project Fellowship.

Consider for a moment how they might impact the search for good friends.

The first is that good friends nearly always announce themselves early. In my experience it only took a short while for their status to become obvious.

The second is that good friends are born, not made. That is my general feeling based on the experience of my life. While I believe in the art of rapport and the value of social skills they didn’t seem to play a major role in forging good friendships. They did, however, help usher good friends into my life.

The third distinction is that good friends may not be on the friendship path your on but it’s highly likely you will find a good friend on a diagonal or parallel path. Allow me to explain. Let’s take for example people who lack a close friend. If they have very narrow social boundaries and tend to stick around the same people all the time good friends may not be forthcoming or they may take a long, long, long time to enter their lives. If, however, those people really made an effort to reach out to others beyond the boundary of their social circle, attend a new social group and different kinds of events then it’s highly likely they will find a good friend.

The fourth distinction is that we sometimes inhibit good friends from entering our lives. This is especially what happens if you allow the social slots in your life to fill up with indifferent, passive and apathetic friends. You may need to free up some of these slots to allow new friends to enter your life. Gauging friendships and learning to let go is one of the core tenants of Project Fellowship.

The fifth is related to the search for good friends. That is, it helps us separate the wheat from the chaff. I noticed that once you have made an earnest attempt to befriend people after 3 – 6 months the friendship pattern is established. So if they are the kind of friends who don’t take the initiative with you, prefer the company of other friends and don’t seem particularly interested in your friendship it’s highly unlikely the friendship will get any better. In fact, it’s far more likely that the friendship will fizzle out than it is to get better. Naturally, there will be exceptions.

If I could only say one thing to people that earnestly desire good friends it would be, “Continually befriend new people till you have the group of friends you desire.”

So, if what I’m saying is the truth or at least a good general rule of thumb how might this effect our pursuit of good friends?

The category Good Friends, Close Friends contains general articles on the subject of friendship. Check out the articles by clicking on the button below.

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One Comment

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