For Some the Pursuit of Good Friends is paved with serious intent and earnestness and could be likened to a long and arduous pilgrimage.
The Angelic’s Pilgrimage is a journey over a period of three months that involves meeting a lot of new people and trying new social experiences. It’s purpose is to reach out to others in a big way and find new friends who respond well to you and show genuine interest in your friendship. It’s also about learning and growing as a social being. It’s an act of love and devotion. In particular, it’s for people who want to have a breakthrough in their life friendship-wise.
I call it the Angelic’s Pilgrimage in honor of those people I call Angelics and because I imagine that it is mostly these kind of people that would consider such an undertaking.
I came up with this idea to help give structure to people’s friendship endeavors. In particular, those people who struggle friendship-wise and are intent on having a breakthrough.
Sweet Spots & Treasure Troves
Two things that you should be looking out for are sweet spots and treasure troves.
A sweet spot is activity or place that you love. A treasure trove is a group of people you really get along well with. It’s a wonderful experience when the two of them converge and you find yourself in a ‘sweet spot treasure trove.’
We sometimes stumble across these in life. We can, however, make a systematic and determined search to uncover them. So take the time to go to places like meetup.com and check out the local activities and groups in your area. Also, expand your knowledge on different kinds of hobbies, interests and sports and try those that appeal to you.
Choose some electives to help you improve your social skills, confidence and capacity.
There are three electives that are chosen to complete on the pilgrimage. There are so many to choose from like reinvention, revelation studies, hosting and cooking.
By reinvention I mean becoming introspective, assessing what you are like as a friend and becoming the kind of friend you would like to be. For this you would do things like dwell on the qualities of friendship and check to see if their are any inhibiting obstacles or liabilities in your life and deal with them. Your goal might be to bring more to the table of friendship and to make your friendship more compelling.
By revelation studies I mean reading books or articles on friendship whose insight, wisdom and understanding will benefit you. Choose a friendship expert like Dr. Levine, Shasta Nelson or myself to follow on-line. Someone you feel you are on the same wavelength with and who you find easy to understand.
Regular hosting can do wonders for you and gives you a good ‘social’ workout. It will naturally do things like take your initiative with others to a whole new level. You will find that your social skills, social confidence and social capacity increase as well not to mention the many good times you will have. By social capacity I mean the social bandwidth of your life has increased. Before you may have only had friendships with a few people but now there are many friendships in your life. You also are able to accommodate more people in your social activities. Instead of having just two or three people over for a movie night you now have 8 or 9 friends coming over.
As for cooking, you may wish to specialize in party foods or learn how to cook for your guests.
Direct or Indirect Friendship Electives
Electives can be direct or indirect. An example of a direct elective is public speaking. An example of an indirect elective is increasing your stamina. You might want to join that cycling group but you know you will have to achieve a certain amount of stamina first. Direct social goal electives would also include helping others, learning to communicate better and ‘hard-wiring’ yourself for social success. Indirect social goal electives include flower arranging, decorating and a make over.
I suggest you end your pilgrimage on a high note to help give you a sense of closure and completion. You might want to host a great dinner party at the end of it. Take your friends to a sweet spot place for a picnic or activities. Participate in a sports competition like a cycling race.
The Angelic’s Pilgrimage is all about having a breakthrough in your friendships. It helps you change gears and bring some serious intent and action to your endeavor. It will also cause you to grow in different ways.
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