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Friendship: The Remarkable Power of Initiative

By Andrew Burgon /
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October 23, 2013


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Grasp the Power of Initiative and Put it to the Test

Initiative is a remarkable power and I owe a great deal to it. With it I transformed my social life. It can make a difference to your friendship situation in a short time. There are some very important aspects of this power to understand.

Learn to Channel Initiative

The first is you must learn to channel it. Ideally, you should have created a friendship and activities model and have used initiative to bring it into your social world.

Show your initiative to the most promising friendships you come across. Sometimes we make the mistake of continuing to direct our initiative towards people who simply don’t value our friendship.

You May Need to Raise Your Level of Initiative Substantially

Next, you may need to learn how to raise your level of initiative substantially. This brings me to the subject of capacity. Your capacity to take initiative may be low and ineffectual. If you make an effort to expand the boundaries of your initiative you will get to a point where you can apply a lot of initiative effortlessly.

One simple way to give your initiative muscles a workout is to start hosting regular events. It did wonders for me. I ended up realizing that the initiative I was taking before Project Fellowship just wasn’t on a scale that was going to achieve my desired results. Instead of being trapped in first or second gear I now have a visceral sense of all the gears from 1 – 10. I can call on this anytime to achieve what I want socially.

It’s important you keep taking initiative till you reach critical mass or the tipping point. Some people I have met have grown tired of taking initiative because lots of people don’t seem to reciprocate or respond poorly.  Well, the pursuit of a higher strata of friendships is an initiative guzzler. A bit like getting in a gas guzzling car and going from point A to point B. I’m fine with that. It’s part and parcel of the trip and there are ways to get better mileage. Not only that but it costs little to raise your initiative substantially. If you are jaded about finding friends then consider whether you have truly made a good effort or not.

Initiative Related Problems

If you are not careful you may become weary of using initiative. You may have overextended yourself and it has taken the wind out of your sails. You may have been persevering with a group of people for too long and you realize way down the track that you will not achieve your goal with them. As great a tool as it is, initiative can’t make people become good friends. Many friendships have a demarcation line that prevents it from happening.

X-Ray Machine

Initiative also acts like an X-ray machine and helps you see the kind of friendship people are offering you in return. Someone I met once told me that people ‘show’ you a plus or minus sign when you attempt to befriend them. I’ll add to that the fact that the plus and minus signs come in different sizes, too. They say ignorance is bliss but I’ll choose seeing with clarity over being ignorant any day.

Be Sensitive to Others

Lastly, remember to be sensitive to others. Don’t pester people with a continual barrage of invites especially if they’re responding poorly. I think it’s important to scale down your initiative with people who are not responding well.

Have you seen what the power of initiative can do in your life in regards to friendship? Please share with us. 

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