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The Friendship Treasure Book

By Andrew Burgon /
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November 21, 2013


A treasure book can help you focus on your friendship endeavor and help you gauge friendships.
gavrilichev / 123RF Stock Photo

A Treasure Book Helps You Not Only Keep Track of Your Friendship Efforts but Make You More Insightful and Discerning Friendship-Wise.

In the first Project Fellowship my Treasure Book was a big sketch pad that had several pictures of places and characters from the Lord of the Rings movies. These were the movies that inspired me to be courageous in finding good friends.

In this book I kept track of my friendship endeavors. All the lines, columns and text were hand done. No photocopies. It was deceptively simple but potent. Each page was laced with intention, determination and courage.

It contained names of friends and the new people I was befriending. On the left hand side were the names of people. Their email address and phone number were next to their name. Most of the page was made up of narrow columns at the top of which I wrote the name of an event and the date. If I invited someone to an event I checked his or her box in that event column.

On the far right I had a comment box in which I wrote down things like the date I first met them, the hours my friend studied or worked on the weekend, things they were particularly interested in and if I decided to take them off my list I wrote the reason why.

When there was no longer space to write anymore events on the page I would start a new section in the sketch pad. When doing this I would look over the names on the old list first and decide whether I should remove some of them. Then I rewrote the list placing my best friends at the top.

At the back of the sketch pad I wrote the names of the people I had made first contact with on social networking sites like facebook, myspace and friendster. As most of the people I contacted didn’t reply it’s not necessary to do this. However, if you are suffering from bitter loneliness and depression you may find it beneficial. It was comforting to see the long list of people I had made contact with. It made me feel I was really doing something about finding friends. It was encouraging to see myself making a consistent and sustained effort. That it was only going to be a matter of time before my effort produced some positive results. It also helped me keep track of where I was up to in my search on the social networking website.

There were two other pages. One for a list of social networking sites that kept track of user names and passwords. The other had a list of friends and family that lived overseas. If I sent them an email or letter I would record the date I sent it.

Another thing you could do is incorporate a journal into it.

One of the most important things about a treasure book is it helps give you traction in your friendship endeavor.

The treasure book really helped me get out of the hole I was in.

Below are some more benefits of keeping such a record.

* It brings the power of focus to your endeavor. It helps you make a systematic and determined effort to find friends. Start by thinking about all those people you know from work, clubs, church and any other activities you are involved in. Write down the names of the people you would like to befriend. Some of you will have to reach out beyond the boundaries of work and the other things you do just as I had to.

Become familiar with what’s going on in your city especially in relation to your interests and hobbies. Locate the websites that inform people about events in your city. Go over to and check it out. If you want to use social networking sites to find friends checkout sites like facebook, myspace and linkedin. Type into a search engine ‘top ten social networking sites.’

* Helps you to be mindful of all your friends. To meet up with them on a regular basis and to keep in touch with people you like but don’t see often. In those early days I sometimes had up to 50 people that I was inviting to various events on a regular basis.

* It helps you discern friendships and determine faster whether or not to take someone off your active friendship list. The flip side of this is it helps you to be sensitive to others. Sometimes I surprised myself when looking over my records that I had invited some people out more times than I thought and the friendship wasn’t going anywhere. In fact, I might have seldom seen some of these people. I would usually take this person off my list as I didn’t want to pest people who by all appearances weren’t interested.

* It was a kind of progress report that helped me appraise my efforts and spurred me on. I would, for example, try and outdo my previous recorded efforts and make a greater effort to have different kinds of events.

* It acted as a reality check. For example, if I was feeling a little depressed I’d open the sketch pad and have a look. If I saw I hadn’t done much socializing of late I would tell myself I had no right to feel depressed as I hadn’t done that much socializing. That line of thinking did help.

* If you are a docile, clueless person when it comes to friendships it may play a part in turning you into a driven, discerning person. That was certainly my experience.

* It helped me increase my capacity. I was able to reach out to more and more people. My parties grew bigger and bigger. I would try to make a record number of first contacts on social networking sites. I started out contacting say 20 people and got to a point where I could contact 200 or more.
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