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Friendship: Well-Oiled Social Priorities

By Andrew Burgon /
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November 28, 2013


Image credit: lodka

A Little Social Lubricant Can Go a Long Way in Dealing with the Frustration and the Struggle That One Can Feel When Searching For Good Friends

When I first started out in Project Fellowship my number one goal was to find good friends. This, however, is a frustrating goal when you are starting out almost from scratch. Even worse when you are suffering from severe depression. Good friends are a kind of anomaly and at times difficult to find. Single-mindedly pursuing good friends over a long period of time is like swimming upstream in a white water rapid. Arranging your social priorities a certain way can make the going less stressful.

My desire for good friends several years ago was like a red hot piece of charcoal that was burning in my chest.  That is not a good way to be. In my life it’s highly probable that anyone I befriend will be passive. It’s highly unlikely that anyone I really like will become a good friend. Keeping that in mind going after the Holy Grail with gusto and passion over a long period of time is a prescription for heart attack!

My priorities in the end found their own order. The first is, “To have fun and enjoy my time with others.” The second is to draw the best possible friends to myself. Finally, my third goal is to actually find good friends. That made me feel much more at ease because the first two are fairly easy to achieve. Achieving the first two encourages me to go on and find good friends. It feels like someone splashed some oil on my inner cogs and wheels. Much better.
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